Love Magic

After receiving a few e-mails recently from various people asking me to help them with their love problems using magic or give them instructions on how to do it themselves, I decided it was time to write a post on love magic. I would like to note straight away that I have nothing against people asking me to help them or give them advice, but Wicca does have very well defined moral standards when it comes to magic. In a former post in which I talked about Wicca and morale, I briefly mentioned this topic, but I find that it is about time to elaborate on it.

Why Love Magic is so Popular

I have noticed that love magic is a very popular field in the world of Wicca and witchcraft, if not even the most popular. But why is this so?

Love is something that people need equally as much as food or water. Love, in any way (friendly, family or sexual) means a lot to us because people, after all, are social beings. Everyone feels nice to be loved and feel needed. It's wonderful when our mothers kiss us when we are small, when our partner kisses us when we grow up and even when our own child gives us a kiss goodbye before leaving for school. Of course, a kiss isn't equal to love, but it does represent it in these cases.

The feeling you experience in these situation is fascinating. So many chemical processes happen in our brains, so many endorphins are released that we are filled with an overwhelming sense of happiness; once could even say ecstasy. Of course we all want to be happy! For some people, money is happiness, for other it is something else, but love is always somewhere at the top of the list.

The problem is that love is often hard to find, and may sometimes seem impossible. If you don't have much money, you will always manage to find a job; if you don't have the courage for something, you can fix that yourself with a bit of work, but what if the person you love doesn't reciprocate your feelings? You can't force them; you can try until you are completely worn out but you will not see any fruit of your labor. 

This is when people get desperate...

This is when they turn to solutions they would never normally try out...

This is when they have the strength to do everything possible to win the love of that special person...

Morale

Wicca is not unfamiliar with magic, and every individual has the right to choose what they will do and how they will do it. There are many ways to do magic (using talismans, candles, cords, visualization, plants etc.) so the method is also up to the individual. But, while performing magic, you have to keep only one rule in mind:

HARM NONE

Wicca really is very flexible when it comes to a lot of things, but when there is only one single existing rule, I think it's not that hard to follow it or at least try. Some don't even consider it to be an actual rule, but more of a guideline through life (which is true in a way). This rule isn't restricted to Wicca and other Pagan religions, though; it is planted deep in our subconscious and it is more commonly known as "moral values". Human morale is the thing that says what's bad and what's good. It is that little voice in our head which tells us to be good to others. It is an essential part of every person and it is always present, even though some may pay more and others less attention to it. 

The goal of every religion is to awaken this voice in any way possible. In order to do this, some may choose to emphasize the negative consequences of immoral behavior (e.g. "you will go to Hell if you are malicious"), while others will help us see the positive consequences of moral behavior (e.g. Buddhism "But since it brings blessing and happiness, I do ask of you: cultivate doing good.", that is, if you do good you will be rewarded with blessings and happiness).

Therefore, morale is universal.

Magic is a field which requires great self-control and a good ability of judgment. It is up to the individual to decide what is good or bad and to suffer the consequences of his/her actions. Love magic is especially interesting because it indirectly involves a second person in the situation, whereas the individual is the primary person at hand in other magical works. Therefore, in stead of only one person being affected, two or more people have to take the consequences of only one person's actions. This is why it is important to be extra cautious, carefully consider the possible outcomes and have even more control over yourself and improve your morale. By doing love magic, you won't only affect yourself, but also those indirectly involved in the situation! 

Let me return to the slogan "harm none" for a brief moment. I'm going to put my neck out here and openly say that I think that love magic can be very harmful. Of course, every type of magic has the potential to be dangerous, but it is up to the individual to affect this. Love magic is definitely harmful; the only question is to what degree?

What Is Love Magic Harmful?

You could have noticed by now that I am against love magic, but I believe I have to give you an explanation for this. 

When one person tries to make another fall in love with them, this is usually against the will of this other person. In doing so, you are actually taking away their free will and manipulating them and thus causing them harm. If you remember, the Wiccan Rede states "harm none". Any person who knowingly harms other living beings cannot call themselves a Wiccan. I think it's not that hard to follow one simple rule, is it?

When doing any sort of magic, it is always useful to put yourself in the shoes of the possible affected people. In this case, only one person is affected so this makes it a bit easier. So, imagine that a person you are not very fond of (or that you don't like at all) is in love with you! It is even possible that you are in love with another person and that you wanted to be with them. Suddenly, you find yourself in a situation where you are in love with a person you normally wouldn't fall for; you don't even know why...all you know is that you two are not meant to be. Therefore, by performing love magic, you can emotionally harm that person, but who is to say that you couldn't harm them on a much deeper level also? Maybe is simply isn't meant to be. You may both find even better people for yourselves later in life and this may prove to be the right thing for you. So there is also a possibility of you doing yourself harm. Basically, nothing good can come out of a forced relationship.

Alternative Ways of Attracting Love

Whenever someone asks me how to solve a love problem or win the heart of a person that love, I always recommend trying to achieve that goal using mundane methods. I believe that one of the main problems of modern society is that people have forgotten how to communicate. We have gotten used to television and the Internet too much and have forgotten what it is like to solve problems and express our feelings using spoken language; face to face with other people. This is why many relationships and marriages fail and also why many of them don't even get the chance to get started. 

I believe that it is alright to turn to alternative methods only when you have tried everything in your power and then tried a bit more to solve things the "normal" way. People always think they have given it their all  and are often surprised how much more they can achieve when they are motivated. So, when you think you have done everything you can, do more! Do not give up. If all of this fails, then perhaps it is time for you to consider alternative methods.

Even though you would be harming a person by trying to gain their love using magic, it is fine to use it to attract an unspecified person, only specifying the traits you would like them to have.

The second option is to work on yourself. You can try to figure out your flaws (be they spiritual, physical or of any other sort) and work on them. Nobody is perfect so everybody has faults, and it is always worth while to work on yourself. You can also use one of the following alternative methods to make yourself more attractive to others (emanate love which will then attract the person that is best suited for you and who you will not be harming in the process).

Some methods which are believed to attract love and be magnetic include:

• certain crystals (e.g. alexandrite, amber, lepidolite, pearls, topaz etc.), more in Scott Cunningham's book entitled Crystal, Gem and Metal Magic
• certain amulets (e.g. quartz crystals) and talismans. For more information have a look at these two books: The Book of Talismans, Amulets and Zodiac Gems (Thomas & Pavitt) and The Complete Book of Amulets and Talismans (Gonzalez-Wippler)
• certain plants which are believed to be aphrodisiacs (e.g. mandrake)

Rituals also exist which could help you win the heart of a person, but it is important to take care not to mention and specific names in them because if you do, the whole moral background is simply lost and you then start harming that person. I usually don't like to give ready-made rituals on this blog, but I have decided to make an exception for this. The ritual below is originally from Raymond Buckland's book Wicca for One.

Candle Love Spell

This ritual should be done on a Friday (which is governed by Venus i.e. the day of love) before the full Moon.

• Put your astral candle on one side of the altar and next to it an orange candle for attraction.
• Put a white candle (symbolizing the type of person you want to attract) and a pink candle (symbolizing love) on the other end of your altar.
• Put the day candle (an appropriate color for Friday is green) somewhere on the altar where it won't be in the way; by now you should have 5 candles+your altar candle and any other ritual tools all on your altar.
• Light you altar candle, day candle and incense. Meditate shortly on yourself being filled with joy and in love (without visualizing the actual person and without any implications!). Remember that you have to imagine yourself after the ritual has been done and has succeeded. If you visualize yourself in the process of falling in love or any other period in between, this too uncertain and thus abates the efficiency of the ritual.
• Invoke the Goddess and the God (or any other deity you believe in, if you do believe) to help you in the ritual (using your own words).
• State the goal of the ritual:

"I am here to bring lasting love and happiness to myself, [Your name] that I may be filled with joy and contentment."

• Take your astral candle and engrave you name in it with something sharp, then cleanse and consecrate it in the appropriate way. While doing this say:

"Here is myself, [Your name]. It is me in every detail. All that I do to this representation, I do to me. So Mote It Be."

• Put you astral candle back in its place and take the orange candle. Cleanse and consecrate it and write "attraction" on it. While doing this say:

"Here is Attraction. It is with me and all about me. So Mote It Be." 

• Put it back in its place. Pick up the white candle, cleanse and consecrate it and engrave "true love" on it. While doing this say:

"Here is the true love I seek; the other half that makes me whole. So Mote It Be."

• Pick up the pink candle, cleanse and consecrate it and engrave "love" into it. While doing this say:

"Here is the love that is brought to us, filling our lives with all that we desire. So Mote It Be." 

• Put the pink candle back in its place.
•  Spend some time meditating on an image in which you are happy, confident in yourself, in love etc.
• When you are ready, first light the astral candle and then the orange candle. Leave them to burn for a bit and then go on the other candles (leave these to keep burning though).
• Light the white and pink candles and leave all the candles to burn for a bit while imagining the aforementioned scene.
• Slowly start to move the white and pink candles towards the astral and orange candles. You can do this in one long, slow move or several shorter stages. While you are moving them, feel love entering your life and feel yourself being fulfilled.
• Once the four candles touch each other, be aware of the love that has just come into your life and that you have caught the attention of your future partner.
• Thank the God and Goddess/whoever you invoked and end the ritual.

For more information of proper ritual form (how to open and close the Circle, which tools to keep on your altar etc.), have a look at this post. 

You can then leave the candles to burn out completely, or you can extinguish them if you wish to repeat this ritual on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. If you decide to do it every month, then do the whole ritual over again each time. If you are going to do in on a daily/weekly basis, then extinguish the candles after an hour and when you move them, move them a big each time continuing where you left off each time. Just take care to have the candles touching just before the full Moon (or at least as close as possible to it). When the candles you are using have burnt out, simply replace them so you can continue doing the ritual as long as you need to.

Conclusion

Be considerate of other people and be careful what you do because every action has a consequence. Try not to harm others, but if you unintentionally do harm them, take care to fix the problem. It is up to you how you are going to use the information I have given you, but I beg you to keep your morale high and to keep your dignity. 

Until next time. Yours,

Witch's Cat